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Aargh, idioter! Humor Internet och IT

Admin får ta bort om det inte passar – och andra dödssynder

Vi lever i en värld med många problem, men nu tänker jag skriva om det kanske mest¹ angelägna – Magdalena Ribbing, frid över hennes minne, lämnade oss innan hon hade möjlighet att skänka oss tydliga riktlinjer kring hur man beter sig i grupper på Facebook. Frukta icke, ty med kraft av min långa utbildning² och många certifikat³ i detta ämne⁴ har jag författat just sådana. Håll till godo!

“Tack för insläpp”

Tänk nu efter – vad är syftet? Att smöra för gruppens admins? Ge fan i det! Fundera på om du gick med i gruppen av intresse för dess ämne eller för att läsa en massa inlägg från fåntrattar som vill “tacka för insläpp”.

“Admin får ta bort om det inte passar”

Admins är överlyckliga över att du givit din tillåtelse. Verkligen. Vilken tur att du skrev den brasklappen, för annars hade de aldrig vågat radera ditt inlägg trots att det passar lika bra i gruppen som kalles kaviar i risgrynsgröt.

“Följer”

Det här är en sak:

Och om du inte fattar varför det är bättre så är du bortom räddning.

“Svar via PM”

Andra människor är inte till för att vara din personliga sökmotor. Om den som svarar inte vill delge sitt svar till resten av gruppen så låt gå – men ofta handlar det bara om att frågeställaren är för jävla lat för att kolla om hen har fått svar på inlägget.

“Knuff”

Nej. Bara nej. Ingen bryr sig om ditt inlägg, acceptera det och gå vidare med livet.

“Bilaga ej tillgänglig”

Dels är det oschysst att dela vidare något om den som postade det bara avsåg det för sina vänner. Dels är det meningslöst att posta ett inlägg som bara du kan läsa. Vad jag vill säga med detta är att DU ÄR EN DÅLIG MÄNNISKA.

Och sist men inte minst…

1. Minst
2. I något helt annat
3. Tillverkade i MS Paint
4. Eller möjligen inte i detta ämne
Categories
Speltest

Spelat: Children of the Nile, Pillars of Eternity, Pony Island, m fl

Jag brukar skriva små korta recensioner av spelen jag spelar men nu var det ett bra tag sedan, så jag gjorde ett ryck och rev av inte mindre än åtta lir i klasser mellan “okej” och “helt enastående”. Som vanligt är texterna på engelska eftersom jag också lägger upp dem på Steam. Håll till godo!

Children of the Nile

This mid-2000s city builder set in ancient Egypt has aged incredibly well and still stands among the greatest games in its genre for me. The game’s mechanics are fairly complex but once you figure them out getting a well-run city up and running feels like a true accomplishment. My main issue with this game is that it can be fairly slow – each map took me on average 6-7 hours to complete – and a lot of this time is spent waiting for some delivery to arrive or for some monument to be completed. Some people have also reported crashes and while I did have a few, the game auto-saves and load times are blissfully short on modern hardware so I never lost much. If you have fond memories of games like Pharaoh, Caesar or Sim City and have somehow missed this gem then give it a shot.

Mitt betyg: 8,5/10

Trivia: Jag testade det här spelet redan 2005 när det kom ut, då jag jobbade som redaktör på FZ.se.

 

The Final Station

A short, fun, engaging and atmospheric indie platformer-shooter. The story grips you enough that you want to understand what happened to the world, but you don’t really have time to figure that out before the game ends. On the other hand, the short length means that the gameplay doesn’t have time to get too repetitive. It’s not a very hard game, though, and the mini-games you have to do to get the train between terminals quickly feel like chores. I’d recommend picking it up on a sale – at about €10 including DLC it’s well worth it.

Mitt betyg: 6/10

 

Grey Goo

A refreshingly conventional RTS with good graphics, great balance and three unique sides that require very different gameplay styles, all of which you get to master during the single player campaign. This game can occasionally be picked up for a pittance and – for some reason – doesn’t have great reviews, which almost puts it into “hidden gem” territory. If you like StarCraft, you’re probably going to like this, unless you’re only in it for multiplayer where finding games can apparently be a bit hard. However, if you’re after a solid single player experience then this is the game for you.

My only problem with it is that the cutscene voice acting isn’t great, the story isn’t very engaging, and I would have liked a longer campaign. 18 hours total including DLC is on the low end. That said, considering how cheaply this game can be picked up you’re getting great bang for your buck.

Mitt betyg: 8/10

 

Tales from the Borderlands

This is a fresh take on the Borderlands universe which forgoes shooty action and grinding for loot in favor of a point-and-click adventure with a rich narrative, great characters and a story that is at least somewhat affected by the player’s choices. Voice acting and animation is excellent throughout. It’s short at only 10 hours, but arguably that’s as long as it needs to be as the ending (which I won’t spoil) makes it pretty clear there’ll be a sequel at some point.

One nit – if you feel like the story’s taken a wrong turn due to your actions, you typically have to start the episode over as there’s no easy way to skip forward to a certain point and no quicksave. Thankfully there’re wikis and YouTube playthroughs to show you the bits you may have missed. Hint: don’t hold on to your money.

Mitt betyg: 9/10

 

The Testament of Sherlock Holmes

An atmospheric and dark adventure/puzzle game with decent voice acting (if you ignore the kids) and graphics that is at least passable by 2017 standards. Keep the wiki handy as some of the puzzles are frustratingly hard but not interesting enough to bash your head against for more than a couple of minutes. The strong side of this game is the way you conduct investigations, gathering and putting clues together to reach conclusions and unveil the mystery is inituitive and fun. The story is mostly well-written, the but there are some glaring plotholes near the end that ruined it somewhat for me. Still, if you’re a fan of point-and-click adventures and criminal investigations then pick this up when it’s on sale.

Mitt betyg: 5/10

 

Pillars of Eternity

Writing “if you liked X then you’re going to like this” feels a bit stale as reviews go, but in fact – if you liked games such as Neverwinter Nights then you’re going to like this. It’s a rehash of the classic isometric RPG with gorgeous graphics, a compelling story and a large number of ways to shape your own adventure. Multiple classes, multiple races, multiple backgrounds that actually affect the story and your interactions with NPCs – it’s all there as you would expect and well implemented.

On the downside, the voice acting feels random at times – some lines are voiced, others aren’t, and dialogues tend to be very (very!) long and wordy. A shame, as other games have shown that you can have a deep story without walls of text. I actually gave up on my first attempt through this because I got bored, and after finishing the main campaign I felt no inclination to get started on the DLC right away. All in all however, I’m going to recommend this as it’s a solid game with everything you could expect from a modern iso-RPG.

Mitt betyg: 7/10

 

Pony Island

Short, spooky, highly innovative puzzler with a clever story and gameplay that strongly appeals to the geek in me. I’m not sure why the pony looks like a triceratops though.

Mitt betyg: 10/10

 

Sniper Elite 3

If you played any of the previous Sniper Elite games then you know what to expect – this is just more of the same. You sneak through visually impressive settings, shoot truckloads of nazis, blow up their sh*t, and giggle with glee at the thought of Herr A. Hitler making one of those spitting angry rants about how worthless his troops are. You get about 20 hours of this in total and that’s well worth it if you can get it on sale, and don’t mind the completely forgettable story and characters.

The game is not very hard for experienced “realistic FPS” players but the game tends to teleport enemies in, meaning you can die instantly to an enemy who randomly appeared behind you, or a sniper on a far away cliff. Yet the same thing might not happen when you reload because the enemy behavior is semi-random. On a positive note, this makes replaying the same map slightly different each time, reducing frustration if you’re having trouble getting through a particularly tricky part.

Mitt betyg: 7/10

 

Det var allt för den här gången. Om du har spelat något av de här spelen och tycker att jag är helt ute och cyklar, skrik till vetja!